Society Wants You to Stay in the Box-Dan Reynolds

When the leader singer of Imagine Dragons stopped mid song to say this to the crowd, I started to choke up.  Instantly I knew that these were the very simple words that I had been looking for.  I understood what he was saying and I felt grateful.

I just spent four days in Salt Lake City.  I thought that I was going there to learn how to properly manage and grow my essential oils business.  I assumed there would be lecture after lecture on exactly what to do including charts, graphs, and my least favorite topic math.  I assumed I would leave there with business knowledge, maybe a new app I could use to track sales, and other business related tools.

I was wrong.  Instead, I found myself in the middle of some intense personal development. And even though each speaker had a different topic I somehow left with one very simple message.  Was this message a theme?  Did Young Living get together to ensure that every speaker included this message in their presentation?  Or was it that my heart was finally open enough to hear something that I really needed?

Be. You.  Hmmmm???  I wanted to ask, but what do you mean exactly?  Who again?  

For so long, I’ve felt that I don’t belong in the box. I saw that as a weakness. My biggest flaw. Overtime I was brainwashed to believe that if I am out of the box then I’m weird, I’m messed up, I’m not doing it right, no one will  approve of me, I won’t be accepted, and that I could actually hurt people.

I have seen my quirks and my desires as something that no one could understand and so I hid, stayed quiet, backed down, ssh’d myself, even if that meant I was red in the face with a pounding heart.  I never wanted to stand out or to make anyone have to “deal with me.”  I have been terrified of making mistakes or someone misinterpreting my intentions.  

I have learned that I was wrong.  Being like someone else is no way to live.  Pushing my desires aside for the sake of society is a problem.  Deadening my strengths and gifts for the sake of fitting in is a terrible idea.  Why did I think that was the way to my own damn life?  

BE YOU!!!  

Who are you?  What do you want to do?  What makes you feel good?  What brings you joy?  What scares you?  Why are these questions so hard and so terrifying?  Why is being like someone else so much easier?  

As Brene Brown says, “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”   Maybe it’s because we don’t feel worthy.  Maybe it’s because the truth scares the shit out of us.  Maybe it’s because we have been so over trained that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves.  Maybe because we believe the lie that staying the same is going to be easier.

We don’t need a society of people who are exactly the same.  We don’t need nodding heads with insecure hearts.  We don’t need people to be quiet and scared.  

What we need is a group that brings their gifts to the table.  They share openly and they own their mistakes because they don’t belong to anyone else.  We need new ideas and opinions.  We need people to feel again and to bring all of that emotion into life.  We need to accept ourselves from deep within our soles because outward acceptance won’t make us happy.

Bottom line.  We need you.  I need you to be you so that I can be me.  I need you to put yourself out there so that I can feel free enough to do the same.  I need you to show me your gifts so that I can learn from them.  I need you to be willing to make mistakes so that I can fall and be ok.  

When I was wrangling with alcohol I almost didn’t stop because I was afraid no one would understand.  I almost didn’t save myself because I didn’t want to be different.  I almost didn’t change my entire life so that I wouldn’t have to have a few uncomfortable conversations.  I almost didn’t go for it.  What an effing shame that would have been for me.

Do you want to quit drinking but you’re afraid your bestie won’t like it?  Be you!  Do you want to quit your job and go back to school to do something totally different?  Be you!  Do you want to stop fulfilling the dreams your parents had for you?  Be you!  Do you want to stop pretending like you care about things that you really don’t give AF about?  Be you!  Do you want to write about plant magic, sober living, and anxiety and share it with your friends on social media?  Wait, that’s me, but you get the point.

Ironically since leaving the conference I am seeing this message everywhere.  It’s in my feed.  It’s in my books.  It’s even in my past posts.  I guess I just didn’t want to hear it yet.  I wasn’t open.  But, I am now.  Today is the day that I stop reaching.  What about you?

“The More I Reach The More I Fade Away.”  Imagine Dragons