Let’s Stop Talking About Balance
Someone asked me the other day how I manage to balance work and home life. My first thought was I don’t. I don’t balance well. It’s already pretty obvious that I am not great at moderation. I am an all or nothing kind of person.
I have a lot of jobs. I am a realtor, a property manager, I have an oils business, I am dreaming about being a writer, and I hope to have influence on the way that the world views alcohol. I am a mother, a housecleaner, a laundry doer, and don’t even get me started on the amount of signatures I give to permission slips and worksheets.
I don’t balance any of it.
Some weeks I spend every waking moment with the kids and others I barely see them. Some weeks I meal prep and make dinner for the nights ahead and other weeks we eat hot dogs and oatmeal (together in the form of a meal). Some weeks Drew and I spend time with each other and some weeks we barely speak.
How do I balance it all? TRYING NOT TO BALANCE.
I put the effort in where the effort is needed. If I am in a bad place emotionally, I take the time that I need to work on myself. If I pick up a real estate client I go all in helping meet their needs. If I have an idea for writing I do whatever it takes to get the words on paper before I forget. If I have to run out of town for to take care of the Airbnb’s I go right away without hesitation. And when the kids need me to cancel everything just to hold them that’s what I do.
When I am not trying to achieve this majestic “balance” I feel a lot better about my decisions, my pace, and the season that I am in. I am good at like 2 things. So, it would be a huge let down to try balance my talents, energy, and time among all the things.
I know this because I tried. I thought I could have drinks at night, feel great and energized in the mornings, be epic at work, and feel ready to take on whatever the kids brought in the evenings. Guess what? I couldn’t (because it’s impossible) and then I felt really bad about myself. The sooner I let that go, the easier it became to proud of the work I can accomplish and have less guilt about what I can’t.
What does society even mean when we say balanced? Do they mean that when we are working we are only thinking about work? Or when we are with our kids we are only focused on them?
I’m even having a hard time staying focused on this post and have wondered what I am cooking for dinner at least 3 times (and this is my dream job). So, please someone tell me is balanced 1/2 work 1/2 home? I need a pie chart or a graph or something to clearly define how it would even be possible.
I’m over it. I am taking “balanced” off my list.
Go rock your workout, that presentation, the parent teacher conference, family dinner, the amazing craft with your kids, or that giant load of laundry. Give it all you’ve got! The feeling of accomplishment and achievement will carry you through the rest of your day. You might be surprised how much more you get accomplished when you are feeling confident about your decisions instead stuck in a place of self doubt or guilt.
The key isn’t to be balanced. It is to live your life. And it’s hard to live if you are trying to moderate your time, energy, and talents across all settings.